Acceptance In Self

As discussed in the previous post, we are laying a ground work for getting results and developing as an individual. A key concept to know when getting started is acceptance. Being that I have a mechanical background, I would like to share an example of what I am saying here.

Let's say that I searched the classifieds and I bought a 1968 Mustang on eBay. The listing didn't have any pictures but the price was right, the shipping was free and it's arriving on a truck today for me to have. The car rolls off the truck and the first thing I have to do is make an assessment of it. I have to inspect it from every angle, look for known problems and check all of the fluids before I can even turn the key. From there, I have to start the car, listen to how it's running and check for leaks, smoke, and other mechanical problems before I drive it. From there, I can take it out on the road and see how it's running and determine that part of it's condition. All of these steps must be completed before making any decisions on what to do with the car. I have chosen to accept this car as is and it up to me to do what I decide to do with it.

Now, if the car had massive engine trouble, it would be ridiculous of me to ignore that fact and decide to drive it anyway. In making the conscious choice, (I knew what I was doing) to accept the car, I also accepted anything and everything that could be wrong with it. Therefore, if I am not happy that the motor needs work and the tires the tires are bald, I am not going to email the seller and yell up a storm and initiate a long drawn out law suit. I am going to make the choices and take the action needed to fix up the car. Maybe I need to learn how to work on the engine, maybe I should take it to a shop, any of these things are within my responsibility. After all, its my car, and it's care is up to me and how I choose to make it happen. Kicking the tires won't put tread on them, yelling names at the motor won't fix it, crying at the kitchen table won't do any good either. I simply have to accept the situation, honestly, for what it is, and make better choices.

The example given was meant to illustrate the concept of honesty and acceptance in personal development. When you evaluate yourself, it must be done with almost brutal honesty and non judgment. Let's say in the process you discover that you have been a real jerk to a lot people. That's like the bald tires, but you can do something about it by making better choices and taking new actions based on those choices. Simply forgive yourself, learn from the mistake, and adjust accordingly. Anything about yourself is malleable and changeable. Nothing has to be set in stone unless you determine it to be that way.

Denying parts of yourself produces no results and can sometimes even make you look really silly. Let's say you were mayor of a town and the newspaper wrote an article about you and how nice of a person you are and put on tomorrow's front page. Let's also say you have a bad case of road rage and you flipped off the reporter at a stop sign and they put that story in the following day's editorial. The personal development approach to this situation is to give the inner road rage gremlin your 100% honest acceptance, as is, and work on that. Not, deny that you flipped off the reporter and choose to ignore your issues with road rage. Making that decision could make you look very silly, especially if 10 people saw you do it and somebody took a picture of you doing it with their cell phone and sold it to the paper. If you drum up the courage to accept yourself and your mistake and take the action to correct the situation, a few things will happen. People will see you as human, like them, and you would inspire other people to work on their issues with road rage as well, and you would grow as a person. Also, maybe you might want to dedicate a web site to the subject or something like that.

Depending on your honest assessment and how you view yourself, you could be that pristine 1968 Mustang that needs a tune up, or a rust bucket in the weeds that needs a full re build. Non judgment is crucial here. Any assessment is completely acceptable and should be taken as is. Any condition can be improved and the acceptance without denial is the first step. From there, you can make any choice and take any action to produce whatever result is desired. Sure you can put a nice coat of paint on a rust bucket but if the motors junk and you choose to deny that fact, you'll get stranded eventually. Every single part and it's relationship to the other parts must be honestly evaluated and accepted in it's current state before any work or progress can be made. Even a Nana mobile can be a total hot rod with a little a work so have fun and practice accepting and loving yourself and you are!